Shot on the Weisscam by Bryce Lansing

This is a little promo I did for a short talk show that some friends and I made. Click the link below to see the original episode!

The Cardboard Box Show

Episode 1 Click Here

Episode 2 Click Here

"I really have no idea… There’s funny pictures from the internet, my resume, important school documents… everything is mixed up."

Hired. "I really have no idea… There’s funny pictures from the internet, my resume, important school documents… everything is mixed up."

Hired.

"I really have no idea… There’s funny pictures from the internet, my resume, important school documents… everything is mixed up."

Hired.

The new Microsoft Surface! It can do so much!

"Create, collaborate, and get stuff done with Office.

Explore your world with fast, fluid Windows 8 apps.

Discover new music, movies, and games in the Windows Store.”

And if it happens to freeze while on Internet Explorer, you can just grab your spare Microsoft Surface on the shelf in the back room!

So convenient!

Sexy music, for a sexy Tuesday.

Taken with Instagram

Pervert? Or extremely lucky to see those prized possessions in person?
All I would like to do is walk up to the beautiful* Scarlett Johansson, give her a great big hug and whisper ever so gently in her ear, “I love you.” Then I would let go, smile and carry on with my day because at that moment, I would be able to die.
*Besides being beautiful and sexy all the time, Scarlett Johansson is also a successful American actress, model and singer.

Pervert? Or extremely lucky to see those prized possessions in person?

All I would like to do is walk up to the beautiful* Scarlett Johansson, give her a great big hug and whisper ever so gently in her ear, “I love you.” Then I would let go, smile and carry on with my day because at that moment, I would be able to die.

*Besides being beautiful and sexy all the time, Scarlett Johansson is also a successful American actress, model and singer.

This lady is awesome. I would catch her playing her piano with no one else in the room and her window shut many times. She played for herself. I decided to pull my camera out.

  1. Camera: PENTAX Corporation PENTAX K100D
  2. Exposure: 1/350th

There’s nothing like stopping at the local gas station to pump some gas and pick up a rag doll. (Taken with instagram)

"A smile is like tight underwear, it makes your cheeks go up."

  1. Camera: PENTAX Corporation PENTAX K100D
  2. Exposure: 1/90th

My Grandma

My mom always wanted to be involved in everything my brother and I did, just like any mother would typically do. One Halloween, I think my brother and I were around ten and twelve years old, my mom had bought a bunch of Christmas wrapping paper because she liked to shop for Christmas as early as the retail stores would allow her. She had an overabundance of wrapping paper to the point where she would find useful and creative ways to use the excess.

The night of Halloween, my brother and I walked out to the living room where our mom stood with her camera. We were in cardboard boxes The bottoms were open, the tops had openings for our heads and the sides had arm holes. My box was covered in red wrapping paper with Christmas lights. My brother’s was blue wrapping paper with snowflakes.

We got a ton of candy that night and many compliments. No one rocked our neighborhood like we did. People had such nice things to say about our costumes. Well, they were either compliments, or just pity.

Chris and I experimenting with an iPhone, Blackberry, guitar, delay, phase shifter and an amp.

Played 9 times.

Michael Caine was born as Maurice Joseph Micklewhite in 1933. Do you know what the cost of a gallon of gas cost in 1933? Ten cents, that’s pretty badass. This was during the Great Depression and that gives Michael Caine hardcore status. Anyone could come up to him with some sad story and all he has to say is, “I was born during the severe worldwide economic depression known as the Great Depression. Oh, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

Michael Caine changed his name when he started acting and while rushed to choose, he jokes, he almost named himself Michael A Hundred and One Dalmatians. However, I’m sure Michael knows that the name could have been really badass as long as he owned it. Michael Caine is such a badass that he has been knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, meaning, he has a Sir in front of his name. I’m sure he walks around correcting everyone, “no, it’s Sir Michael Caine…Sir.”

Michael Caine starred as Milo in the 1972 film, Sleuth. He also starred in the 2007 version as the character Andrew alongside Jude Law who played Caine’s original part, Milo. Michael Caine probably walked on set and was like, “Listen, Jude, you act out this character like this… *amazing acting ensues*.” You know that pretty cool movie called The Italian Job starring Mark Wahlberg? Get this, there’s an original version and guess who stars in it? Sir Michael Caine. How about Austin Powers? Pretty cool spy that does awesome stuff, right? Well how about Austin Powers’ father, Nigel Powers? Yup, Sir Michael Caine.

Most people would say that Michael Caine is a sweetheart and has no reason to hurt anyone. This is true. Michael Caine was in the Korean War and he probably didn’t hurt a single person, only stared into people’s eyes and bring peace to their minds, bodies and souls. Plus, Michael Caine can play dramatic roles like your mother has just taught you a huge lesson and made you repeat it five times before she smacks you with the wooden spoon on your bottom and left you crying right before you go to bed but then in the morning you feel stronger and like a new man.

After all, I’m sure Michael Caine has Batman on speed dial. Enough said.

First off, can we survive when the world ends?

When people say that the world is going to end, I feel that it means just that. The world will end but that could mean that people living on the world could survive. I mean, why not, right? Just think about it.

I feel I would need something along the lines of a bomb shelter to survive the world ending. I think I would need to call a guy. My friend knows a guy to build one. He’s always saying how he’s got a guy for that. I wonder how he got that guy because I would like to get my own guy. He would come in handy for fixing things like microwaves and ovens. I would like to invite him into bomb shelter because how else would I eat Bagel Bites if my microwave and oven are broken?

Of course I would need to get the necessities such as food, water and clothing. Also, a fan is definitely something I would need to keep in my bomb shelter because it could get really hot down there. No one likes to be all uncomfortable and sweaty in a situation such as the world ending.

Then there is the one book and one movie rule, but that goes right out the window for me because I’ll have a bomb shelter. Why only bring one? Goosebumps would be awesome to have on hand, like the entire collection because they are just down right fun to read. For the movies, I would have to go with something that crosses the lines between adventurous, charming, humorous and just straight up badass. I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about, the entire James Bond collection. Period.

When the world ends, what will it look like? Will it all look like the desert or will it be like an inclusive vacation on some remote island? Either way I would want some sort of transportation to take me all over to explore the recently ended world. I would want a Smart Car. Pre-world ending I would have said, “Fuck those cars! They are too small and one accident could kill you in those things!” Looks like Smart Car will be on top of the world because the world will have ended and they can then be three times the economical cars they are now. There will be pretty much no one on the road and that includes people with their dumb jokes on bumper stickers.

One thing that I need to think about is being alone. Should I invite someone with me into my bomb shelter or should I live on the ended world alone? I don’t want to be all selfish but everyone can get their own bomb shelter if they’re really going to be all whiny about it. I wouldn’t want to invite Kathy. I could see her walking up to me and complaining about how she isn’t invited into my bomb shelter and how she thought we were best friends when she clearly never wanted to hang out. She’s not a bad person or anything I just wouldn’t want to be waiting for her for our Smart Car exploration while she is still front of the mirror putting on her make up when there will be pretty much no one else around.

I would want to invite Sara, though. She lives across the street from me and we have been going to school together forever but she has never noticed me. Now is my time to shine and I could be all smooth about it too. “Hey Sara, you want to stay with me in my bomb shelter? I can assure you safety beyond belief… plus I have lots of James Bond movies to watch, just bring the popcorn.” She would be all excited and everything. Thank you, Pierce Brosnan.

I could see all of this being such a great idea and very strategically planned out. It would all come together with such delight. Plus, if Sara gets warm I can keep her cool and comfortable with my fan. I knew the fan was a great idea.